Silverwing's Laws

Anyhow, back in the day Baron Steffan ap Kennydd of Silverwing maintained a list he called "Silverwing's Laws". They were kind of the Murphy's laws of the SCA - Often funny and true and sometimes wise. Silverwing's Definition of the SCA's Purpose: Law No. Zero "The SCA exists to provide an enjoyable group environment favorable to the amateur practice of, dissemination of information about, and consequent preservation of, diverse worthwhile aspects of Medieval and Renaissance culture." THE LAWS

There is only one rule in the SCA: "Thou shalt not be tacky". All the rest is commentary. Barak Raz
Gresham's Law applies to the SCA: Bad medievalism drives out the good. SaK & Thos. Gresham
Never attribute to malice what can adequately be explained by stupidity. [This is known as Hanlon's Razor. It has been attributed to Napoleon. Jerome of McKenna (Jerry Pournelle) adds that "there are degrees of incompetence". Thanks to Clark Meyers and to The Jargon File for info on this.]
The number of sauces at the feast is directly proportional to the length of your dags times the cost of the material. Alexandre sur le Mer
The media will always interview the worst-dressed person at the event. If they can't find the worst-dressed person, they will interview the least-dressed person. Unknown
What we want most from our kings is plenty to talk about, and that's what our system gives us. Sir Lars Vilhjalmsson
If you say you're it, and no one else says they're it, and everyone thinks you're it, then you're it. (The Virtual Warrant Principle) SaK
A jerk wearing a crown and five medallions is still a jerk. A noble man need not be a nobleman. SaK
The problem with "The Dream" is not "Dream". It's "The". Adelicia of Gilwell & Robin of Gilwell. (This is not the Dream. This is what I do on weekends to have some fun. The Dream involves 4 sets of identical twins, 2 gallons of Cool Whip, 5 quarts of chocolate syrup, 2-1/4 pounds of strawberries, satin sheets, a magnum of champagne, a trapeze, and a python.) - Sfi Mordecai ben Yosef Yitzhak
The reason the SCA functions the way it does is because its laws are written by computer programmers. (The reason the USA functions the way it does may be because its computer programs are written by lawyers.) SaK
The probability that you forgot to pack something is directly proportional to the distance of the event times the necessity of the item. SaK
There are only 25 faces in the SCA. It's okay, I don't remember your name either. Elspeth Keyfe of Neddingham
In the East, if the King says to dig a ditch, Curia must discuss and approve it. In the West, if the King says to dig a ditch, it takes 4 months to find a shovel. Alexander Listkeeper
Art imitates life; life imitates art. SaK (The best re-creations in the SCA are the ones we don't even consciously try to create.)
No plan survives contact with the enemy. Field Marshal Helmuth von Moltke, via Robin
He is most to be feared who has nothing at stake. Public domain
It is better to have the Pope's ear than the King's crown. SaK (If you want to effect real change, work with the system. The crown will change within 6 months.) I later found this Welsh proverb: Gwell car yn y llys nag aur ar fys (Better a friend in the Court than gold on thy finger).
Though it be a law of Nature, there will always be someone to dispute it. SaK Corrollary: No matter what you post, you're going to piss off someone. Just try to make sure it's someone who needs to be pissed off. Goedjn/Azelin/Ralph/Pete Rose
Name magic works in the SCA. SaK (You know someone has become a friend when they use your mundane name and you don't feel vaguely offended.)
Never expect the king to ask his herald first. SaK
Never believe the schedule in the Pre-Pennsic booklet. SaK
We can, therefore we do. We do, therefore we have always done. We have always done, therefore we must always do. We must always do, therefore an officer must oversee the doing. There is an officer, therefore we must report. We must report, else we will lose our tax status. (The Cascading Bureacracy Meme) SaK
Anything a king gives twice is an Order. SaK (If the king gives me a dead halibut, he has given me a dead halibut. If, next week, he gives you one, we are now Companions of the Halibut and I'm the principal.)
SCA legislation is always reactive, never prospective. SaK
Semper litteris mandate (Always get it in writing). Official motto of the SCA College of Arms (Yes, Laurel's crown says "Non Scripta Non Est" {If not written, it doesn't exist}. But I recall this version from Karina's Precedents, and it's on the West Kingdom's CoH seal.)
25-A (Corollary): If written, it will get lost. Wolfgang vom Bruch via Ingeborg Thorulfsdottir
All that is needful to be respected is that one behave both respectfully and respectably. Galen of Bristol
To gain face, give face; to lose face, try to save face or take face away. Frydherik Eysenkopf
No one who is facing the audience should be surprised at court. Daniel of Lincoln (modified)
The Prime Rule of Pennsic: It's your vacation, stupid! [SaK, with thanks to the Clinton campaign....]
1. (Corollary) The 2nd Rule of Pennsic: It's everyone else's vacation, too. Someone's got to make it happen.
Always assume that the Crown can. SaK
Backwards compatability means never being able to say 'Ooops, we goofed'". IBM via Tibor
Beneath the calm, professional exterior of the SCA, lurk all the subtle, interpersonal dynamics of a nursery school at recess. Adapted from Gary Trudeau, via Corun MacAnndra & Tibor
Courtesy includes Justice, for Justice is Courtesy to Truth. SaK
No, it isn't fair. Neither were the Middle Ages. SaK (And once you accept that, life in the SCA gets a lot easier and makes much more sense.)
Don't let the Best be the enemy of the Good. "Cariadoc's Maxim", Cariadoc of the Bow
1. COROLLARY: There's a difference between sensibly recognizing that nobody is perfect and making a law that says trying to improve is illegal. Ursula Georges
2. [Tibor tells me that Voltaire said "The Best Is The Enemy Of The Good"] This also comes to mind: "Ring the bells that still can ring Forget your perfect offering There is a crack in everything That's how the light gets in"Hey, I'll take any excuse to quote Leonard Cohen
"You Rule Because They Believe". [Engraved on the inner surface of the crown of the King of Caid.]
Solving problems is easier if you haven't picked your solution before you start. Azelin Cola of Wishford a/k/a Ralph the Carter
The three hardest things to say are "I'm sorry", "I was wrong", and "I don't know". Tibor
When in doubt, assume that any group of three or more people includes someone who is cranky for the moment, and could interpret your actions in the worst possible context. Anton Winteroak
If given a blank canvas a SCAdian will go out and LEARN how to make paint. Kimmer Bayleaf
Justin's Rules of Good Bureaucracy:
1. Don't make a Law if a Policy will do.
2. Don't make a Policy if Custom suffices decently well.
3. And don't try to change Custom if things aren't broken in the first place. Justin du Couer
  1. This is not meant to imply that the SCA actually adheres to these policies, of course....
The SCA is pretty lax at enforcing its regulations, and cannot do more than slap on the wrist. But becoming a social outcast makes the game no fun. The penalty for violations of custom, while less precise, are fiercer.Tibor
1. Or, to put it another way: "Laws are sand, customs are rock. Laws can be evaded and punishment escaped, but an openly transgressed custom brings sure punishment." Mark Twain
The most important thing is a cool mug or goblet. Without a mug or goblet, you end up with a paper cup or a modern bottle or an aluminum can in your hand and you are a SLOB. Add a cool mug or goblet and immediately you, too, are cool. Duke Finvarr de Taahe
No matter how great your triumphs in the SCA, 99.9993% of the planet couldn't care less. Unknown, but inspired by "Laszlo's Chinese Relativity Axiom"
Never hand someone a dagger unless you're sure where he's going to throw it. Adapted from Kathryn M. Drennan
The fact that I'm neutral means I'm not on your side. Saleem ibn-Alefan
Every weekend, we gather hundreds of people together, none of whom have had enough sleep. "Robin's Unified Theory" of SCA Dynamics
No problem is so big or so complicated that it can't be run away from. Charles Schultz via Linus van Pelt and Robin
It's the inherent right of all to make dern fools of ourselfs. It ain't held by official types alone. So don't mess with it. Walt Kelly via Porky Pine & Robin
It's not enough to be involved; you have to be committed. Think of a plate of ham & eggs. The chicken is involved; the pig is committed. Martina Navratilova via Robin
As long as we would rather have wearable shoes than perfect theories about shoes, academic standards are the wrong measure for our work. The measure of a paper is not the measure of a shoe. Robin of Gilwell
All that is neccessary for tacky to triumph is that class acts should do nothing. Azelin Cola of Wishford
Re-creation necessarily implies research before the craftwork starts. If you haven't done the research, you can create, but you cannot possibly RE-create. Arval d'Espas Nord
Arguing with a herald is like wrestling with a pig. First you get really dirty and muddy, and then, after a while, you begin to realize the pig is enjoying himself. Ernst Nuss von Kitzingen
Only Pennsic is worth the level of inconvenience that only Pennsic requires.Tibor
If you think you're going to need it on the field, but can't figure out how to carry it, you don't need it. (Ivan's Fighter Rule #8) Sir Ivan Ulricsson
Never annoy a bard, for their memories are long, and your name scans to "Greensleeves". Fiana of Clare and many others
Stomping (or attempting to stomp) on disagreements as soon as they crop up is so counterproductive and dysfunctional as to differfrom an active evil only in intent. Azelin Cola of Wishford
There is no niche in the SCA so small that it is safe from some dweeb installing a megalithic bureaucracy to regulate it as a favor to the society.Marcus de la Foret
1. (a)There will eventually be a monarch who will reward this dweeb with a peerage for installing this atrocity. This will gladden the hearts of dweebs and send them in search of their own niche to bless. Marcus de la Foret
It is one thing to have both a belt and suspenders to keep your pants from falling off. It's another thing to wear suspenders because you have a belt. Azelin Cola of Wishford
1. (SCA law includes mundane law by definition. If it's prohibited by mundane law, you don't need to repeat the prohibition in SCAdian law.)
Ends do not justify means, but means sometimes justify ends. (Kali's Proto-Maxim) Kali Harlansson of Gotland
Nasty politics is like water and air: it seeks its own level, and it fills available space. SaK
1. If you have the inclinations and the personalities, you don't need a real reason for politics. If you don't have a baron to elect, you'll fight over who should be the 2nd assistant deputy to the cantonal sub-warden of the plumbers' guild.
As surely as the poor will always be with us, they will always have the stupid in tow.Marcus de la Foret
What does a peerage cost? If you are doing it for a peerage, then you can't afford it. If you are doing it for fun, then in the end the peerage is free. Nazir, from Calontir, via Tibor
Authenticity is like a two-lane highway. If someone is going slower than you, they're a slug. If they are going faster than you, they're a maniac! Thaddeus the Brown, via Avery from the Middle Kingdom
It's hard to have fun where there is none, but it's easy to have fun where there is some. Tibor
You can usually win a war before it starts if you have the power to define the terms. Unknown
Any Sovereign or Consort who tries to hold any other office will be declared ipso facto insane. Daniel de Lincolia
Elisheva's Rules of Pennsic:
1. No matter what the project - no matter how simple and inane - when preparing for Pennsic allow at least twice as much time as you think the project needs.
2. No matter how many times you've sewn something before, it will not come out right the week before you leave for Pennsic.Elisheva bat-Yehuda
It's what you learn after you know it all that counts.Jimmy Williams, via Countess Iseult on the Rialto
If we reduced our Peerages to a quantifiable list of goals and metrics, we'd get ONLY those things. (We'd lose, or cease to recognize things that don't fit the list. Worse, we'd give relentless social climbers and belt notchers the tools they require to meritlessly grasp our highest awards and honors.)Tibor
Some people say great power gives great responsibility. This is nonsense. "Responsibility" means you have to take the blame for your own mistakes. "Power" means you can make someone else take the blame for your mistakes.Cerebus the Aardwark, via Frithiof, from Nordmark
Whatever you find when you first encounter the SCA is something you percieve as having always existed, even it was invented a couple days before. Yosef Alaric
In a vast and incompetent bureaucracy like the SCA, it is easier to gain forgiveness than to obtain permission. An anonymous former campmaster of Pentwyvern, via Gladius the Alchemist
Going to Coronation for the fighting is like going to church for the tapioca pudding. SaK
You can't legislate having a clue. Catrin o'Rhyd For
No one likes a smart-ass, and no one works with a hard-ass. Tibor
1. The fact that we're a volunteer-based organization means that if you're a taskmaster, you're just going to get marginalized to the point of irrelevance.
It is good to have a good life: it's a shame we cannnot have more than one at a time. Tibor
1. It's annoying when the real world cuts into your SCA fun; doubly so when it's real-world fun cutting into your SCA fun.
The opposite of "extreme" is "extreme". Unknown
1. Creativity vs. Authenticity? Process vs. Product? Any philosophy can be taken too far.
Advice to peers: Be careful; you may be the only history book someone else will ever read. I wish I could remember...
Fealty doesn't mean following the King when he decides to gallop over a cliff. It means holding him back. SaK
1. Robin of Gilwell reminds me that Baldassare Castiglione said it earlier, and better, in the Book of the Courtier: "You ought to obey your lord in all things profitable or honorable to him, not in those that will bring him harm and shame. Thus, if he should command you to do some deed of treachery, not only are you not bound to do it, but you are bound not to do it-both for your own sake and in order not to minister to the shame of your lord."
The officer of arms in the registration queue deals with the most fragile commodity in the SCA, the creative ego. Thus anything short of enthusiastic and immediate acceptance of the design generally is taken as a personal affront. Cathal (James Pratt)
A persona is no substitute for a personality. Linnet Kestrel
Before peerage: chop wood, carry water. After peerage: chop wood, carry water. Modified from Tibor
If you can only do it in a three-piece suit, it probably isn't worth doing. Kwellend-Njall Kolskeggsson
Don't sit on the beer cooler. Col. Jenna, Calontir
The degree to which someone is wary of their own culture is proportional to the degree to which I respect them. Karl Faustus von Aachen
Any SCA argument that revolves around our middle name is bunk. Tibor
Courtesy is owed, Respect is earned, Love is given. Freya Manslayer
We are modern people with egalitarian instincts deliberately creating a society that combines feel-good communalism with hierarchical, exclusionary elitism. It should not be surprising that it leads to the occasional cognitive dissonance. Tangwystl verch Morgan Glasvryn
Never chase tigers unless you know what you are going to do when you catch them. Tom Gervasi via David Calafrancesco
The young man knows the rules; the old man knows the exceptions. Oliver Wendell Holmes
The Society we've created and is maintained by SCA Inc. runs on 'Three Lies' without which it could not operate:
1. people from roughly a millenium and thousands upon thousands of square miles can easily gather in one place
2. hey all speak the same language, or can all understand each other
3. the place where they gather is in an "open market town" in which one must be chivalrous and treat everyone equally. Aleksandr the Traveller
Having a standard policy for isolated occurrences is just a way to go wrong with confidence.Azelin Cola/Ralph the Carter/Goedjn
People can be classified as frogs or toads. A frog has a microscopic chance to become a prince, but a toad is a toad forever. Tibor
The greatest gift you can give someone is the gift of themselves to themselves. Crag Duggan
Pity creates beggars, mercy creates brothers. Crag Duggan
Nothing in the SCA is done by a set formula unless the formula is, "Wing it!" Ernst Nuss von Kitzingen
Tivar's Rule #5: There will always be some people who can do some things that you just *can't*. Don't worry about it, work on your basics and have some double-stuff Oreos. Tivar Moondragon
The problem with "you play your way, I'll play mine" is that while my "authentic" play doesn't keep you from your "fun" play, your "fun" play does make it extremely difficult for me to do my authentic play. Eleanor fitzPatrick
1. A very similar observation, by Robin: The essential fact about the SCA is that we don't kick people out for having different goals or different levels of commitment to our varous goals. That makes it a great place to do what you want to do, but a horrible place to try to escape the things other people want to do.
You're an oldtimer when the things you used to strive for are taken for granted. Andrew Blackwood MacBaine the Purple
The first duty of all honest men is to reiterate the obvious. George Orwell via Franz Joder von Joderhuebel
Ymchwil, nid dogfeniad (Research, not documentation). Tangwystl verch Morgant Glasvryn
What some of us see as Problems Inherent in the System, others see as an exciting part of the game ("It's not a bug--it's a feature!")Rufina Cambrensis
It's important, when picking on your friends, that people that don't know you, know that you are friends...Master Ekkehart of Oakenwood
It's not always the SCA that's different. Sometimes it's you. Goedjn, a/k/a/ Ralph the Carter
Make sure the damsel WANTS to be rescued (before charging in and making a fool of yourself). Elspeth Keyfe of Neddingham
"Zero Tolerance" is what you call intolerance when you're in favor of it. Goedjn, a/k/a/ Ralph the Carter
Saying that you're "swearing fealty" to the people is kind of like saying you're "marrying" the entire school district. Goedjn, a/k/a/ Ralph the Carter
The opposite of "you must not desire an award" is not: "you must desire an award", it is: "you may desire an award". Goedjn, a/k/a/ Ralph the Carter
It’s an iron law of politics that the losers from any policy change scream louder than the winners sing.538.com via Tibor
'Lainie's Law of Polling: Of course we vote. And it is a perfectly period practice. Monks voted on the new Abbot- and could be overridden by the Bishop...And if you push the issue, you can end up kneeling in the snow for four days...Elaine de Montgris

Silverwing's Laws

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